Why Dogs don't use a computer

Before you proceed I would like to mention that although this page
is a humorous having and caring for a dog is a serious matter.
It must not be taken lightly.
So many dogs are neglected after the first few months.
They are living creatures with feelings and emotions just like you or I.
They require a great deal of love and care and in most
cases a lot of hard work.
Many breads require a good deal of exercise so if you are
planning to get a dog check the various breeds
to find on that fits your circumstances.
For example a Black Lab is not a very happy dog if it is living in
a city and can't get to run and fetch everyday.
A Dalmatian on the other hand is quite content to sit and look pretty
but for their first few years requires a lot of exercise.
Many people with this breed have given up on the dog because it
was not behaving properly but if the dog has not received his daily
exercise he will be somewhat frustrated and show it in his behavior.
There are many breeds that require less exercise and should be
considered by anyone living in a urban area.
Some people feel that a professional training program
will solve any problems that a dog has.
Although these programs are very useful in most cases nothing will
replace the tender loving care that you give your dog.

And PLEASE don't allow your dog to bark and disturb your neighbors.
Some people will leave their dogs untended for extended periods of time
and the dog will get lonely and frustrated.
This usual causes them to bark.
They are just trying to get the attention they need but this can
cause a great deal of problems in any neighborhood.

Please have your dog spayed or neutered.

Now to the fun part.

They can't stick their heads out of Windows '98.

Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.

Too difficult to 'mark' every website they visit.

Fetch command not available on all platforms.

Saliva-covered mouse gets too difficult to maneuver.

Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail".

Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.

They keep bruising their noses trying to catch that animated frisbee.

Involuntary tail wagging is a dead giveaway that they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.

Annoyed by lack of newsgroup alt.pictures.master's.leg.

Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.

Fire hydrant icon is a source of constant frustration.

They haven't found an 'emotion' that signifies tail-wagging.

Butt-sniffing is more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.

Simply way too hard to type with paws.
 

And the number one reason DOGS don't use COMPUTERS...

'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS!
(Now, cats, on the other hand...)

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